OMG
Just woke up, and there was a woman near me! Wow! I got laid!
It felt so unlikely that I poked her boob while she was sleeping to make sure. She woke up and asked what I was doing. I said I wanted to make sure I’m not dreaming. She laughed. I think she thought I was being romantic. She’s back to sleep and I don’t think I can take her photo without using a flash. I guess she’s kinda hot. Hard to tell. I was really drunk when we got here. Still am. I think I love her but I can’t remember her name. Fuck. Just wanted to share with all you early birds or late owls or whatever.
A woman. Not the one I slept with. I think. But you never know. It's still pretty dark here.
It’s not that I’m not an attractive fellow, I think I just come off a little intense, and it’s hard to take in the full extent of my awesomeness, which is very extentful. But once they get to know me I think, well, I’m still sort of intense. Usually my relationships last anywhere from twelve seconds to a week. But I’ve got these redeeming qualities, like I make a killer Cheerios breakfast. I add cinnamon. Blows their mind. God I’m nauseous. What the fuck did I drink? I’m going back to bed.
Go Josh!
Just make sure she doesn’t turn into a dog in her sleep.
(But if she does, make sure to document)
Actually she did turn out to be a dog, but I don’t think it was anything recent.
Children, don’t drink.
But once you’ve started, don’t stop.
You rock!
Of course I do.
Glad to see you have a life other than writing your incredible script.
Let us know – on the scale of twelve seconds to a week, how long did this one last? If she’s still around, I wish you good luck. If not, well she wasn’t worth it anyway, that bitch.
And another question, can you share your killer Cheerios breakfast secrets? I’d love to try it myself.
I’ll post momentarily about that cunt.
The secret cheerios recipe: it’s a secret. Duh.
[...] drunk babe I picked up that night turned out to be less of a babe and more of a cougar, but like a cougar that’s been in many [...]