About the male protagonists
So I’ve been thinking about Bruce Willis lately, how his character is gonna shape up. I only chose for him to be a Cocker Spaniel cause I liked the sound of it, and thought that it’s a clever way to hide the word “cock” in a lead character’s description, or alternatively get some product placement dough from Coca Cola.
Bruce Willis - Before
But when I consulted with Mr. Google I found there are all sorts of Spaniels, all with dangly ears and dopey eyes, which is not very much a Bruce Willis character, but that’s fine, it’ll be a sort of takeoff on the his character. It can even be a dog that thinks it’s John Mclane. Asta la vista, doggy. Anyway, he’s gotta have his own demons to fight off, so I’m thinking maybe when he was a puppy in the pet shop, a fire started, and he managed to escape, but was not brave enough to save his hamster friend, Zigmond. This has haunted him his whole life (about a year I guess). Of course towards the end of the film he gets a chance to redeem himself when his love is trapped inside a burning pet store and he bravely goes in and rescues a hamster.
Bruce Willis - After
I’m also thinking about the Afro American Reiki master, who is an important character in the plot as he helps our protagonist to retransform into female human form, with proper tits and no body hair, though she can remain on all four, for all I care, ha ha ha.
So I’m thinking maybe Samuel L. Jackson, who appeared in some smaller flics but I think he’s got what it takes to make it in the big league, he’s got that sort of black power thing working for him, I can totally see him as a powerful master of energies and shit. Or perhaps Edward Norton, I really like him. He is not technically Afro American, but with some make up he can really make it work, like he did in that last Ben Stiller film. He’s also got that black power thing, in an Eminem sorta way. Less talented than Eminem though, obviously.
What if the Reiki master is a dog too? Now there’s a thought. Is it a good one? i don’t know. Are Oreos sweet? Most of them. The ones I’ve tasted anyway. And there you’ve got that black and white metaphor working for you again. What was I talking about? Bruce Willis. Yeah. i sent him a summary of the plot to try and get him interested. I wrote a nice flattering letter, telling him I’m writing the part with him in mind. How I got his home adress is a whole story I’ll tell another time. In any case haven’t heard from him yet, and I’m preparing similar letters for Robert De Niro, Al Pacino, John Travolta, Harrison Ford and Bono. Better safe than sorry.
I’ll keep you posted. Over and out.
Perhaps to complete the cast in a way that also fits in with the play on words, the Cocker Spaniel can have a sidekick cockroach – a sleazy ,horny, slobbery, ugly friend of the Spaniel who time and again almost messes up the relationship with Claire.
Ben Stiller may do the job, although he has the geeky looser heart breaker image. Or maybe Adam Sandler can uglify himself a bit more and fit it.
What do you think?
No offense dude, but that idea kinda sucks. Who wants to pay to see a huge cockroach? I mean I would, sure, but it’s just the wrong fucking genre, right? Like “Infestation”, a decent huge bug flick, but not a Bruce Willis romcom.
But thanks anyway.
I’m cool, no offense. You know Disney, Pixar and all those seem to manage to make any animal or creature look cute, cool and funny. But since I’m not really sure what genre your movie is gonna be, it’s hard to tell what may work.
Forgive me if I’m over killing the joke, but wouldn’t it be a great line if the Cocker Spaniel takes Claire out to a bar and gets her cock-tail? It just seems to me like a line which is a shame to miss.
Dude, this is a classy flick, like Wizard of Oz or the first Terminator, and it’s a romantic comedy with a twist, and the twist is that they are dogs and they are Bruce Willis and Angelina Jolie. So no cockroaches, but I might use the cock-tail joke unless it screws with the MPAA rating. Thanks.
I’m with Simon. It doesn’t have to be a HUGE cockroach.
But I think the cock-tail is a little bit too much. Unless you want this to be like Jim Carrey’s early movies.
Which are his best.
I can’t think of cockroach without Kafka coming to mind. You are so much better than that.
What is a Kafka?
She had much taste or not?
Huh?
If the scholars is excited for thw purpose of securing my object, which teachers who are beginners in the pleasant countennace and manners, he might fkrget, viz ., to me that the defendant was also informed of the school-room.
Thanks.
What?