Back from the dead, so to speak

I’ve gone and done my disappearing act again. It is partly due to computer problems. First someone broke into my house and the only thing that seemed of worth was my ancient laptop. So they took it. The burglar was so pissed when he (or she. Woman burglar. Sexy.) found out what a piece of crap, he actually went to the trouble of emailing me from my own mail (left signed in automatically):

this is most peace of shit i still in my career. you are patetico.

I’ll forgive the bad grammar if it’s a female. Sexyyy.

Next the computer network where I work blocked me from entering my own blog. Reason: Pornographic content. If you can’t beat them, beat off to them. No, that wasn’t it, was it. Anyway, here is a drawing of an anus:

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Here is a drawing of a vagina:

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Here is a drawing of me near a vagina in approximate scale of 1:100,000 in regards to true occurrence on a time axis:

{;}

0
/|_\
/ \

(Notice my penis in this illustration is so erect in it has actually ripped my arm out of place, which has yet to happen, but all good things etc.)

Here is a drawing of a vagina with Chlamydia:

{%%%}

Here are uneven boobs:

@0

Here are, at an approximate 1:2 scale, the last pair of boobs I touched.

..

That is, in an intimate way. In a non-intimate casual sort of accidental rub of a ninety two year old titie, it would look something like this:

| | | |
\/  \/

I need more weed than Mexico can grow.

That actually sounds like a poem

I need

More weed

Than Mexico

Can grow

True story: An old lady died in our facility. Her will states that being of sound mind she would like for me to inherit her toothbrush. Why? I don’t know. Unfortunately the Mexican maid got her teeth, so not much of a fortune catch there.

Here is a drawing of a vagina of a dead woman, being penetrated or possibly cleaned by it’s owner’s toothbrush:

}{ <==~,,

And on that lovely note, have a nice Christian Sunday y’all.
I’ll try to be back sooner next time.